Open Mike Night
by T9-chan
Summary: everyone gathered to the same bar on the same night at the same time... who cares! the bar is filled with cussing, the smell of beer, and laughing... and donuts. there's a stage and a mike...... and everyone should know what that means... i hope. R&R enjo
1. Default Chapter

A/N: hello peeps, its wolf54! With another story, which is named open mike night! It might have already been done already, but I don't know, so here it goes!

         a large bar is in found in a large city (not sure what city it is so I wont say XD). Pretty much everyone in Gunsmoke is here except for a select few. –cough- stupid people –cough-

         everyone one is laughing and talking and just having a hell of a time in the bar. Waitresses with bunny suits serve everyone and a stage is set up with a microphone just waiting to be used.

         Wolf, owner of the bar (thank you thank you), walks up to the microphone and starts talking, "hello everyone! It's Friday night and you know what that means!?" she states. " I DON'T KNOW!!!" said a stupid idiot who didn't understand it was a rhetorical question. Wolf shoots the guy and speaks into the microphone again, "IT'S OPEN MIKE NIGHT! ANYBODY CAN COME UP! ….. except for you" she firmly speaks as she points to a clown who starts to cry and runs off. "Ok, the first one up is…. Vash the Stampede!"

         Vash is to the side shaking uncontrollably…. Stage fright. Wolf is staring at him and gives her 'get-over-here- or-I-rip-your-hand-off-and-shove-it-up-your-ass' look which usually works. Vash is horror stricken and tries to run but Wolfwood grabs his coat collar and drags him up. " I DON'T WANNA! I WANT MY MOMMY!" Vash whines like a baby. "First of all: you have to because you signed up, and secondly: you don't have a mommy" Wolfwood says and throws Vash on stage and nearly hits Wolf. "WATCH IT!" wolf screams.

         "Erm, ok……. I guess…… um" Vash utters into the microphone nervously. All of a sudden music starts to play, " O.o" is all the audience could do. Apparently Millie started playing the chicken dance song on a stereo. "…… LET'S DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!" Vash, who just remembered what he was supposed to do starts doing to chicken dance. "I DON'T WANNA BE A CHICKEN! I DON'T WANNA BE A DUCK! SO KISS MY BUTT!" Vash sticks butt out into the audience and the girls get nosebleeds and the guys get disgusted looks on face.

          After Vash is done dancing he just starts doing random dance moves. "Go Vash, it's your birthday" does the point and does other random disco moves. "OK! Thank you Vash!" Wolf shouts and pushes Vash off the stage. "But I haven't done the robot yet!" Vash whines out. "WE DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT!" Wolf screams in Vash's ear and walks up to the microphone. "What!? I can't hear you! I'm deaf!" Vash picks his ear to see if that will help but it doesn't.

          "ok, the next one up is Millie who is gonna sing a song she wrote on her own" she starts clapping and walks off as Millie walks on. "Sorry if this sounds to hateful but it's a song I wrote and I think it's very good" Millie says before she starts playing. She starts playing some chords on the guitar and sings "You don't know how much I need you. While you're near me I don't feel blue. And when we kiss I know you need me too. I can't believe I've found a love that's so pure and true." As she sings she begins strumming louder. "BUT IT ALL WAS BULLSHIT!" and Wolf says 'fuck yeah!' "IT WAS A GODDAMN JOKE! AND WHEN I THINK OF YOU WOLFWOOD I HOPE YOU FUCKIN' CHOKE!" Millie sings/yells this into the microphone and Wolfwood faints (Oo) and everyone else is just well, scared and shocked and Wolf is off banging her head to it. Millie goes back to playing the guitar lightly and singing not so loud. "I hope you're glad with what you've done to me. I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy. You left me here all alone, tears running constantly." Millie sings and starts playing louder and starts singing/yelling into the microphone again, "OH SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEASE! SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEASE! I'M ON MY KNEES! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE! KILLLLLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I WAAAAAAANT TOOOOOO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! PUT A BULLET IN MY HEEEEEEE-EEEEEE-EEEEEE-EEEEE-EEEEEEEAD!" Millie stops singing and slowly stops playing guitar and stands there still looking happy. People slowly start clapping and whisper to each other about the lyrics. Millie walks off and Wolf walks back onto the stage.

         "ROCK ON!….. ehh……" looks like a bigger idiot on the stage. " ok next is legato…… oh god no" hits head with the microphone, "who is gonna do magic…."  Wolf isn't too happy about this and walks off stage.

         Everyone is scared, confused, and about to commit suicide as legato walks on the stage. " ladies and ….. other people, I am legato the magnificent! Now, I will need an assistant." Looks out into the audience which now only consists of Wolf because she has to stay there cause she owns the bar. She happens to be the only one there because everyone else is hiding behind the bar, tables, and the bathroom. Legato grabs Wolf and brings her on stage. "LET ME GO!" wolf screams at the top of her lungs that makes everyone's ears split. Legato, with his ears bleeding, puts Wolf under a sheet. "who turned out the lights!?" Wolf is walking around everywhere on the stage having no idea what is going on. "I will make Wolf, "legato says and claps hands, "disappear!" with saying that everyone on the audience cheers loudly. " I HEARD THAT!" she sets the sheet on fire and looks pissed. " you're gonna be the sheet, Legato" Wolf sets legato's coat on fire and chases him around the bar and out the door. "GET OVER HERE AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!" Wolf screams again.

         "BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING YET!" Legato is running for his life and dodgingballs of fire (yes I can shoot fir and no I will not light your fireworks)

ok, that was the first chapter! I hope you like it.

Oh, if you're wondering why legato didn't use his telekinetic powers? This is why: cause its my story and I didn't want him to!

Oh, I don't own Trigun, the bar, or anything oh the sort… except for my video games, my anime, and my manga: the three most important things in the world!


	2. burned to a crisp by a doggie and a viol...

A/N: yayness! Its second chapter of Trigun open mike night, and you people are waiting for more aren't you? …. AREN'T YOU!? Of course you are. Anyways, on with part 2 of Open Mike Night!   
NYA!

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Wolf is still chasing Legato and throwing fire balls at him. "AGH! WATCH THE HAIR!" Legato screams as he dodges a fire ball aimed at his head. " I'LL STOP WHEN I BURN YOUR FRIGGIN' HEAD OFF!" Wolf yells at the top of her lungs hitting another innocent by-stander. (let us take a moment for that guy along with the 15 other people hit with fireballs….. ok silence over!)

Everyone in the bar are gathered around the windows watching legato run like a sissy girl away from a pissed of girl who came make and manipulate fire….. sca-ry. The only one NOT at the window is Knives… who is drunk off his ass. He sits there drinking his fifth beer and makes rude remarks to the microphone stand, " GOD, YOUS SHUCK AT SHJOOK! IIII COOLD DOOS BETTRS WITH MIZE HANDZ TIEDED BEHINDZ MY BAACKZ!" he blurts out being all drunk like… yeah.

Wolf finally hit legato with a fireball and everyone points and laughs at the psycho burned nearly to death. Wolf dust herself off and walks back on stage, "Ok we have another performance by…." She blanks out and looks at her conveniently placed clip board and looks up who is next. "…. Next is Hustino and Kenny doing…. Something else" she says not quiet sure what they are about to do.

( prepare to be petrified peeps!) Hustino walks up with a badly made legato costume and blue hair with some covering his left eye. Kenny is in a Kuro-neko costume. The people in the audience hold back laughter. Hustino clears his throat and lets out a perfect legato voice, " It seems Mr. Kuro neko is born." Hustino says and waits for Kenny's part.

Kenny just glares at him evily.

Hustino glances at Kenny and says his part again, " I SAID 'IT SEEMS MR. KURONEKO IS BORN!'" he says louder and glances at Kenny again. Kenny flips Hustino off. Hustino is now mad and screams in Kenny's ear, " IT SEEMS MR. KURONEKO IS BORN!" Kenny falls backwards and lands on his head. ". N…nya" Kenny mutters with his leg twitching slightly.

Hustino straightens up his jacket and then speaks out as if nothing happened, but we all know something did, "It seems that Mr. Kuro neko is happy." And he glares at Kenny. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IM NOT-" Kenny was about to finish his sentence when his head hit with a rock. "… nya" Kenny says rubbing his head and says under his breath, ' I'll kill you in your sleep.' The audience is shocked, Millie is covering her ears, Knives is still drunk and everyone else just plain shocked at the performance… except for legato who is burned to a crisp (by a doggie).

All of a sudden two people, a cat demon and a dog demon barge in… well actually the cat demon barges in and drags the dog demon in by the collar and stomps to Wolf. "Why wasn't I invited!? I wanna know!" the cat demon screams at wolf. "You never asked" Wolf says sweetly and smiles. The cat's only decision to de here was… an anime fall. The dog demon immediately stood up in front Wolf and yelled, "WHERE'S THE RAMEN, WRENCH!? BUGGY PROMISED ME RAMEN!" Wolf just stares at InuYasha and flicks him in the forehead, "It's in the kitchen, InuYasha, go get it yourself" she says and watches as InuYasha runs into the kitchen.

The people in the bar, audience, were more interested in what was going on on stage then was happening in the bar…. Cause a guy in a legato costume and a guy in a Kuro neko costume were fighting each other just because Kenny didn't say 'nya'. But you could still here their performance so everyone just watched them fight and keep saying there lines. "IT SEEMS THAT MR. KURO NEKO IS SAD!" Hustino says putting Kenny in a head lock. "I CANT BREATH!" Kenny screams gasping for air. "SAY IT!" Hustino yells out and Kenny finally says it, "nya- OW!"

Hustino sits on Kenny's back and brings back on of his feet and pulls it back as far as he can, "IT'S SEEMS THAT MR. KURO NEKO HAS ITCHY FEET!" Hustino shouts as he keeps bringing the foot back farther. Kenny barely makes out a 'nya cause he was screaming in pain from the pain in his leg as it was about to snap. "IT SEEMS MR. KURO NEKO HAS FLEAS!" Hustino hollers as he pounds Kenny's face into the floor. "I DO NOT!" Kenny shoots Hustino and kills him (wow, this chapter got violent) and then says, "nya" and drags hustino's dead corpse off the stage and puts him in a big brown sack and locks him a random closet and walks off to find a doctor.

Wolf walks onto the stage and brushes away the debris left by the two fighting guys. The violent part of the audience cheered chanting for more while the more innocent part of the audience were just shocked. Millie fainted seeing somebody die with Wolfwood, Meryl, and Vash fanning her. Knives was still drunk off his ass and Legato is still burned to a crisp (by a doggie). "ok, now with that act finally done we move into the next one which is..."

* * *

wow Hustino and Kenny weren't very… Hustino and Kenny like...or were they? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok, that was the second chapter… which wasn't very long, sadly

and my friend buggy was in it because she asked and if you people want in it I suggest you ask in a review and give a description of yourself and what you want to do on stage cause well…. I'm running out of random things for the people to do

and I forgot the disclaimer at the beginning and I still own nothing except for my video games, anime, and manga: the three most important thins in the world


End file.
